New Study: Cellphone Use is Good For You

Mobile phones are so good for you..

STOCKHOLM – Sweden – More people should be encouraged to use mobile phones a new independent study has concluded.

Long term mobile phone users live longer and have increased brain function, according to a two decade-long study.

The report, to be published later this year, has reportedly found that heavy mobile use is linked to increased life expectancy and higher intelligence.

Talk More Live Longer

Doctor Emile Munchausen of the Stockholm Institute of Science said: “We have found after the twenty year study that having large doses of microwave energy directed into the skull is entirely beneficial to the recipient. When the brain is technically microwaved like that every day, the users intelligence levels increase because of the altering of braincells. We therefore encourage populations to increase use of the mobile phones and to use them for longer periods as well.”

Doctor Munchausen’s study utilised 12,800 people in 13 countries funded partly by the World Population Control Organisation and all mobile phone companies. The WPCO has also funded other research like: “How cigarette use is good for you” and are also supporters of the world famous “Eat More Junk Food Day”.

Preliminary
results of the inquiry, which were looking at whether mobile phone
exposure is linked to better health, have been sent to a scientific journal.

The study also found increased health of populations who live near mobile phone masts. In the UK alone there are millions of these masts which pump out large doses of health giving microwave energy.

“We encourage the world’s increasing populations to talk for longer periods on these cell phones. You can spend hours on the phones and you will be increasing your health. Don’t forget parents, the younger your child is, the better it is for them to talk on their portable phone,” a NOKIA spokesman said about the study findings.

The
findings are expected to put pressure on the Government to encourage even more use than they have already been doing– which has
always insisted that mobile phones are safe and good for you.

  • kyle

    no

  • Tracy

    I use my cell phone for more than 4 hours a day sometimes 6 hours more.

    🙂

  • hahahah

    This is good news. I can’t wait for all these morons who I see walking down the street with those things stuck to their heads to get some horrible terminal affliction.

    Keep talking fools enjoy your tumors!!!!!

  • Rire

    As soon as I heard this, I rushed down to the High Street and got myself another mobile. I now speak to two of my friends at the same time. They are copying me in their new lifestyle. It doesn’t take long to be sure how well it improves brain functioning. To speed up the process, such as those who have heard about it, apart from my friends, are constantly asking me where else they could stick a third one. Up to you, says I.