Compensation Lawyers Clean Up $20 Billion Gulf Fund

Nothing like a good cash spill to clean up..

LOUISIANA – USA – A $20 billion BP cash spill has been cleaned up by thousands of compensation lawyers who have flocked to the scene of the disaster.

“We have successfully cleaned up the compensation cash which was spilled by the BP suckers. We need more funds though because we’re some greedy ass motherfuckers, so BP, fork over more cash,” Billy Joe Benton, a litigation lawyer told ABC news before driving off at high speed in his $450,000 Bentley.

The lawyers said they were shocked that some of the fund somehow managed to trickle down to compensating people suffering economic losses from the worst oil spill in U.S. history.

“That BP cash spill is earmarked for our law offices only. We can’t believe some of the people who were meant to get that cash actually got it! Y’all must be out of your minds. Everyone knows we get all the cash,” Jacob Kleinstein, a senior litigator at Greed and Greed Litigation firm told Fox News.