Illegal Channel Crossing: Merci Beaucoup Priti Patel!

CALAIS - France - The French are appreciative after receiving more money from Priti Patel to escort illegal migrants to the UK across the Channel.

The French were in a jubilant mood today because they will be getting many more millions from the United Kingdom to escort illegal migrants across the Channel from France, thanks to Home Secretary, Priti Patel.

“The Rosbifs give us more millions to do what we have been doing all along — escort the migrants to Britain. If the cochons want, we can now escort the migrants in luxury cruisers, because the idiots paid for it,” a smiling French Naval officer at Calais laughed.

This year alone has been a great time for migrants crossing the Channel illegally, with over 8,452 journeys helped by the French to reach the shores of the UK.

The Home Secretary, Priti Patel has been fooled once again by the French and is now paying an extra 55 million pounds of taxpayers cash for a more involved escort service by the French navy.

“They pay us the money, we take it, and nothing changes. C’est si bon! All is well that ends well. Hopefully next year they can pay us more, I need a new cruise boat,” another Calais official remarked.

Next year — more of the same.