17.7 C
Wednesday, May 22, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldYou Can Take Those GCSEs Off Your CV Now

You Can Take Those GCSEs Off Your CV Now

LONDON - England - Anyone who has a GCSE on their CV will have to remove the useless qualification from their resumes as of tomorrow, government minister, Michael Gove has announced.

There will be no more newspaper pictures of teens jumping around in fields anymore after receiving their GCSE results, because their ‘qualifications’ do not mean a thing.

“This is a great relief to many because it shows the dumbing down of qualifications has created an altogether dumber youth who think they have qualifications when in reality they certainly do not. You can have all the A grades you want in your GCSEs, you might as well make it all up, because it never meant anything to anyone apart from yourself. You think you’re qualified? There has to be a new approach to education where children are taught something that has a purpose and qualification standard that actually tests people instead of giving them top marks for minimal work. The GCSEs doled out to kids like smarties meant absolutely nothing, and due to the nature of the course work, the majority of teachers would help students pass their courses and enable them to be another pass statistic within the failing education system,” a minister working on the new O level project told the BBC today.

The Liberal Democrats, led by Nick Clegg, have vowed to fight the new O level qualifications.

“We plan to fight this at every step. It is imperative that we have a dumbed down population who are unemployable and illiterate. The O level exams are too hard and people will have to actually work to get them. This will mean that there will be more obvious differences in intelligence, as opposed to GCSEs where the whole populace got A grades, now only a small amount of people would get A grades. That is just not fair,” Mr Clegg said, sobbing into a handkerchief during parliament, yesterday.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"


  1. i studed hard for my gcse…..

    i'm never removing it. and yes it is and "qualification"". it's ahrd, not just letting your teacher give you a pass. 99.9% of gcse students are the smartest people i've ever seen.

    stupid article!!..

  2. I only went for GCSEs when people with guns came to get me. On other days I stayed at home and participated in education.

  3. The Goverment need to do something better then this. First they took away tuiton fees now they taking away gcse's Fuck off you Tory scum!! Soon you wil get your just deserts!!!!!!! Bastaers!!!!!!

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -





The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »