Ken Livingstone Applies to Become Mayor of Cayman Islands

GEORGE TOWN - Cayman Islands - Former London Mayor, Ken Livingstone, is ditching his bid to become London Mayor for a second time and is now focusing on the Caymans tax haven, instead.

“I know this place very well. I have a few accounts here where I siphon the money so I do not have to pay tax in the UK,” Mr Livingstone said on Tuesday.

The former mayor wants the Cayman Islands’ capital to be just like London, and is even proposing a congestion charging zone, where all vehicles will be charged $15 a day to pass through the city.

Man of the People

Mr Livingstone told the George Town Times newspaper: “I visit here quite a lot to check on my accounts and chat with my banker friends, and I have noticed that there aren’t many buses here. This is why I propose ordering in hundreds of those awful bendy buses that will clog up intersections, and take up all the room on the roads as well as pumping out all that lovely black smoke. Soon this place is going to be just like London, and as mayor, I will give my staff regular taxpayer funded trips to China to see how my red friends are doing. At a cost of $850,000 per trip, I am sure you will agree it will be well worth it.”

At least this way, Mr Livingstone’s ample salary and media takings will not have far to travel, and he will be sure to avoid the UK’s tax collectors.