Spain to Give Back Colonial Enclave Argentina Back to Indians

MADRID - Spain - The Spanish Prime Minister has vowed to give back Argentina to the original inhabitants, the native South American Indians, as an act of compassion and regret for its former colonial self.

“In the year 1536, Pedro de Mendoza, arrived in what is called Argentina and with a large force massacred all the American Indians. The ones that were left were forcibly converted to Catholicism and their babies’ brains dashed against rocks to ensure they went to Christian heaven. What was then called Santa María del Buen Aire, is now Buenes Aires. Before the massacres, the indigenous people of what is called Argentina today, were the Tehuelches, Rehuelches, Rampas, Matacos, Guaycures, Huerpes, Diaguitas, Mapuches. They were systematically almost completely wiped out and indoctrinated. Argentina today is a massive Spanish colony. We want to say sorry for that and we want to give the land back to the original inhabitants,” Mariano Rajoy, told an assembled press corps. from his public offices in Madrid.

Because of the shame of Argentina’s Spanish colonial past, many Argentinians are now going back to Spain and are happily leaving behind their former properties and belongings.

“We, as Argentinians are colonial Spaniards. Our forefathers brutally wiped out the Indians and we are truly ashamed for our colonial past. Yesterday I saw an old Indian lady sitting on the ground weaving a basket. I gave her the keys to my BMW and told her how sorry I was for my colonial roots,” Juan Soldero, a lawyer from Buenes Aires told Spanish TV station, TVE 1.

Former Argentinian president, Cristina Kirchner said: “It’s an injustice that in the 21st century colonial enclaves still exist in the world. This is why we are now leaving Argentina and going back to Spain.”

According to Spain’s current government, there are plans to move the entire Spanish population of Argentina back to Spain within the next few months.

“We are still mobilising the ships so that millions of Spanish people come back to Spain from Argentina and we can give the land back to the original South American Indians. This will be a huge logistical task but it can be done,” Diego Maraputano, the Spanish Foreign Minister, told Spain’s El Pais newspaper.

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