17.7 C
London
Monday, June 24, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldUS Allows Heteros to Openly Serve in Navy

US Allows Heteros to Openly Serve in Navy

WASHINGTON DC - USA - President Barack Obama signed into law the repeal of the Navy's 'Don't ask, don't tell' policy, thereby allowing straight people to openly serve in the Navy.

Fulfilling a campaign promise, Obama said the law will strengthen national security and uphold the ideals that the country’s sailing men and women risk their lives to defend.
 
“No longer will our country be denied the service of thousands of patriotic Americans who are forced to leave the Navy – regardless of their skills, no matter their bravery or their zeal, no matter their years of exemplary performance – because they happen to be straight,” Obama said.

In the Navy

The new law ended the 170-year-old ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy, which forced straight Navy members to hide their sexual orientation or face dismissal.

“It was real hard because if you didn’t join in with the gay orgies on deck or aft, they would immediately know you were not a real sailor boy,” John Rimmer, an ex-Navy recruit told Fox News.

While officials did not announce any timetable for the revamp, the process will probably take months as the Navy has to formulate new service guidelines.

The guidelines will also cover a host of questions, from how to educate sailors on how to treat straight members of the team, and how the Navy’s tradition of steaming gay saunas and submarine orgies would have to be toned down.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »