17.7 C
London
Thursday, April 18, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldGordon Told to Impregnate Wife Sarah or Lose Election

Gordon Told to Impregnate Wife Sarah or Lose Election

LONDON - England - After news came through to the Number10 bunker deep under Downing Street that David Cameron and his wife were to have a fourth child, Labour election strategists ordered Gordon Brown to get on the job and have another baby with Mrs Brown.

“We have ordered a bucket of Viagra to be delivered to Downing Street and are getting Gordo and Sarah to make an election baby. If Cameron thinks he’s going to pip us to the post with an election sprog, we’re going to get on with our own Labour election winner,” Arthur Spin, a member of the Downing Street election campaign staff told the BBC.

Labour leaders were said to be worried however that Gordon’s efforts may not be enough to secure an election win.

“Gordon hasn’t slept since 2007 let alone done the dirty with his wife. He’s so consumed by his control-freakery that he even has speech writers briefing him in the Number10 bedroom at all hours of the night while Sarah is busy twittering on her laptop, that and the amount of pills he’s popping to stop him going absolutely psycho has caused havoc on his already bonkers mindset. We don’t think he’s up for the job frankly,” another Labour election campaigner told the Mirror.

Plan B, however, may be needed where some pillows will be strapped to Sarah Brown’s torso in order for her to look like she really is preggers.

“Well, we’ve lied about everything else Labour has done so why not this? If it gets us an election win who f*cking cares,” Mr Spin added.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

2 COMMENTS

  1. Britain is now a socialist country, it’s impossible to have a Tory government.

    It just won’t work anymore. This is why you will vote for Labour for the next 5 years.

    Vote Labour Vote A Future Fair For All

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »