British Airways Plans to Use Ships to Transport Passengers During Strike

LONDON - England - In a master stroke idea that is set to smash the strike by airline cabin crew on Thursday, chief executive, Willie Walsh has prepared for the worst with some intricate plans.

“It’ll be like the evacuation of Allied troops from Dunkirk in World War II,” the CEO, Willie Walsh told CNN from his luxury apartment in the Bahamas.

Dunkirk Spirit

British Airways has arranged for thousands of ships to be used to transport their airline passengers affected by the flight attendant strikes next week.

The logistics of the operation are said to be monumental and will incorporate a fleet of over 23,000 ships and even 17 decommissioned ex-military submarines.

“British Airways is dedicated to our passengers and we will ensure that they get to their destinations by any measure possible. We will not let those stupid trolley pushing ingrates ruin your trip,” Mr Walsh added.

Yesterday, every passenger who will be affected by the strike was sent a letter detailing where they should embark on their cruises.

“We’re off to South Africa for a holiday of a lifetime. My family and I saved for over three years to fly to Cape Town but the strike means that our journey there will take over six months by ship. We were told to take lots of lime on our journey so we don’t get scurvy. There won’t be any attendants on our ship because we will be travelling on a banana boat leased by British Airways. Oh well, at least we’re getting out of Blighty for a few months, innit,” Joe Hempel-Jones, 45, a British Airways traveller told the Times.

British Airways is appealing to anyone who owns a boat or even a dinghy to contact them as soon as possible. 

The union who caused all the trouble in the first place, Unite, was yesterday applauded for their destruction of British Airways by the Labour government, who received £5 million in funding and bribes from them last year.