17.7 C
London
Monday, October 7, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldBritish Troops Training Afghans to Shoot British Troops More Accurately

British Troops Training Afghans to Shoot British Troops More Accurately

HELMAND - Afghanistan - In a bid to speed up the process of imminent defeat in a hostile country where everyone is out to get them, Western military troops are now training Afghans in combat techniques utilised by NATO forces.

“We’re training the Afghans in our military techniques and giving away all our secrets so they can shoot us better,” said 1st Lieutenant Jim Jones of the 3rd Infantry Brigadiers regiment.

The Afghans, who are normally taught how to shoot an AK-47 by the age of two, are not in the least phased by the newcomers thinking they can be trained to shoot their own countrymen.

“Here in Afghanistan, if we’re not shooting foreign invaders then we shoot at each other. I don’t think the idiots who come here realise what the rules of the game are,” Abdul Omar, a Mujahadeen fighter, who has been recruited by the local British garrison to shoot some Brits dead, then run off into the night and never be seen again said about the exemplary training facilities.

A British commander was adamant that training the Afghans is a good idea: “We invaded their country, and now we’re training them to shoot us with more accuracy. We also train them up on better bomb making techniques and let them come into our heavily fortified compounds so they can tell their friends about our living habits. It’s all jolly good stuff I tell you. Ah, my tea just arrived.”

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!