Gordon Brown: More Fuel Tax Hikes May be Needed

SOUTHMOULD - England - Supreme unelected leader of the British people, Gordon Brown is planning further petrol tax hikes to try and stem the massive black hole in Britain's failing economy.

Mr Brown who has been enjoying his holiday in the grey damp miserable seaside town of Southmould, has been busy twittering about the merits of the NHS of late, even though he has himself received extensive treatment privately.

“The PM is fiercely against any form of private healthcare but because of his high rank in the Labour government he has seen fit to receive treatment worth thousands of pounds from Mervyn Druian of the London Cosmetic Dentristry Centre. The rest of the British people have to make do with rotting teeth because there are no NHS dentists or treatment, but for our unelected leader there are obvious exceptions to the rule,” one of Number 10’s spokesman told Reuters.

The unelected PM has also ordered Alistair Darling to increase fuel tax from it’s already inflated levels to even higher heights.

I am happy to pay any fuel tax increase with a big smile on my face. I
will never ask any questions or show dissent for the huge tax increases.

Mr Parsons
East Glamorgan

“I have ordered Alistair Darling to increase fuel tax again because we must squeeze every drop out of the proles. So, from now on, for every pound spent at the pumps you will be paying more than 85 pence in fuel tax to the government. It is your duty as citizens of Britain to be milked even more. Please keep filling your cars further because every time you do that, you are helping MPs expense accounts,” the unelected prime minister added.

Since Labour came into power in 1997 the government’s fuel tax increases have escalated by more than 170%.

“If it happened anywhere else in the world there would be riots in the streets. Because it happens in the UK where the people are so pliant and cowardly, nothing happens. They are daily bent over and fucked by the Labour government and bankers and they just take it all without question. We’re so glad we don’t live in the UK anymore,” a British expat in America told the BBC.

Meanwhile, crude oil prices are set to rise up to $165 per barrel which will mean that with the added fuel tax hikes from the government, the general population is set to be paying over £1.40 a litre for their petrol by Christmas.

Looks like the unelected prime minister is certainly up for giving everyone an early Christmas present or two.