Brown Could Be World’s Only Dictator Left

LONDON - England - With news that Iran's Ahmedinnajacket and North Korea's Kim Jong Il are to retire from dictating, our unelected prime minister, Gordon Brown, could be one of the only dictators left in the world.

Incumbent Ahmedinnajacket is quaking in his size 4 boots tonight after the Iranian elections could show that his days of dictatorship are over.

“Well, at least the Iranians get an election, however rigged they are. Here in the UK we don’t get elections anymore, and Brown is going to ensure that he changes the electoral system to make sure that he stays in power forever,” a distraught Londoner told the BBC.

Meanwhile, over in North Korea, Kim Jong Il is planning on passing on his dictatorship to his son after his retirement later on in the year, although there are rumours that there might be an all out nuclear war before the big handover. Last year we lost George W Bush, who was one of the world’s most evil albeit stupid dictators.

The dictatorship retirements have now left a big hole in the business of dictating. All that is left are a few pockets of resistance around the world like the UK and Zimbabwe.

“Even Zimbabwe’s Mugabe is losing his dictatorial lustre. He is into that power sharing stuff, or is pretending to be into it, although he still dabbles in major dictating binges here and there. Gordon Brown, the unelected leader of the British Communist party is the only major dictator left in the world,” Purnell Blears, a political prisoner in exile in Borneo told the BBC.

It is indeed a credit to Brown’s diligence in dictating, that the UK is now awash with millions of surveillance cameras, listening devices and human tracking mechanisms.

Yesterday, unelected prime minister, Brown, was quoted as saying very aptly: “The people who cast the votes don’t decide an election, the people who count the votes do.”