Gordon Brown Eats Own Hand

LONDON - England - British prime minister, Gordon Brown ate his own hand live on television today after the European poll results came through.

Gordon Brown, who was being interviewed on the BBC at the time started to eat his own hand as the reporter, Bungla Neelesh Chakrabarti looked on in horror.

“The PM started to eat his own hand as I showed him the final results for the election. His face went red and he just bit down taking big chunks of flesh, bone and gristle and swallowing the lot. He didn’t even make a sound during the act and everyone in the studio started to retch at the horrible sight. The crunching sound was the worst bit. Filming was stopped immediately by my producer Sanjit Markhani,” Mr Chakrabarti reported.

The film of the awful act will not be shown out of respect for Mr Brown who was rushed immediately to Hammersmith hospital at 9.30 am.

Surgeons were said to be battling to piece together the hand but it is likely that Mr Brown will be fitted with a prosthetic hand, possibly a hook.