17.7 C
London
Friday, March 1, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldNew Housing Scheme For Ministers Unveiled

New Housing Scheme For Ministers Unveiled

LONDON - England - The independent parliamentary body set up to integrate the new housing scheme for members of parliament has come under scrutiny from some MPs.

buy squib book

Ministers for all parties from now on will be expected to live in the new taxpayer funded housing schemes which will be implemented from June 2009 and will replace the second homes housing expenses fiasco that has caused such consternation.

“From now on MPs will be expected to sleep in the specially designed eco-housing modules made from sustainable forests in Sweden. After a hard days work in your constituency or in parliament itself, you can just unfold your housing unit and get a good nights sleep. You’ll be up and about in the morning and as spritely as a Hensvik shelving unit from Ikea. Just fold your new taxpayer funded sleeping unit after another cosy sleepless night and you’ll be raring to go for another session of heckling at PMQ’s,” Lord Arbuthnot Braitwaite told the Evening Standard from under Waterloo bridge.

The new Eco-MP Housing Units have been approved by the taxpayer because of their low cost efficiency and bio-degradable qualities. One single unit will only set the taxpayer back 31 pence to house a member of parliament for up to five or ten years. This cost efficiency measure is preferable to the hundreds of thousands it took to house ministers under the old regime.

“I blame Jacqui Smith and all the other Labour scroungers and greed-driven scumbags. If it wasn’t for them getting caught I wouldn’t be in this bloody awful mess. Tories have been doing this for years and we have only been caught once. Last night I couldn’t even get my Bentley Arnage into the Eco-Unit’s garage. This is a bloody disgrace I tell you,” a senior Tory backbencher complained.

So next time you’re under a public walkway or bridge after midnight, shout out “order order” and you will hear a collective groan from the assembled housing units scattered around in the dimly lit rat infested MP housing zones.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

1 COMMENT

  1. It’s unreasonable to expect our representatives to live in cardboard boxes! I suggest they should have Anderson style shelters on the mud banks of the Thames; whenever you see other pigs in fields living in them they always seem very happy.
    Passing people can throw them scraps, much the same as they’ve been doing to us for the past 12 years.

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »