17.7 C
London
Saturday, June 22, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldComa Man Demands to Go Back to Sleep

Coma Man Demands to Go Back to Sleep

LOS ANGELES - USA - John Fandango, who has been in a prolonged coma for the past 25 years, has finally woken up. But, according to his lawyers, is now demanding to be put back into his coma state.

The man was said to be distraught after being told about what is going on at the moment.

Mr Fandango who was being cared for at Los Angeles’ UCLA hospital, was said to be inconsolable after reading a daily newspaper.

“I just woke up from a long term coma to see that the president is black, Michael Jackson is white and Arnold Schwarzanegger is the governor of California. I even read that Hillary Clinton is Secretary of State?” an agitated and shocked Mr Fandango told the LA Times.

Mr Fandango is now speaking to lawyers so that he can sue the hospital for “irreparable mental trauma” caused by the cessation of his coma.

“We have reason to believe that Mr Fandango may have inadvertently been woken up by a cleaner who accidentally bumped the bed. He has instructed us to present an injunction to the hospital in question for the breach of his human rights resulting in severe mental trauma,” Larry Silverstein Jnr. the attorney in charge of the case told reporters.

Hospital administrators, however, are at a loss as what to do next.

“You can’t just put someone back into a coma. Although, I do have an idea. Maybe we can make him watch 15 minutes of that British prime minister’s speeches. What’s the guy’s name? Yes, Gordon Brown. Hell, Mr Fandango would soon be back in his comatose state in no time and we would avert a multi-million dollar lawsuit,” the hospital’s chief administrator, Bud Dwyer M.D. said.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »