Gordon Brown Unveils New Tax on Smiling

LONDON - England - In addition to the myriad number of taxes introduced by Gordon Brown during his tenure as chancellor and PM, the new tax on smiling is not set to make the government much money.

No one is smiling anymore. That is the truth of the matter, and Gordon Brown’s new tax that he plans on introducing next week will definitely not make anyone any happier.

A tax of 90 pence per smile will be charged on every British person from next week as part of a government drive to increase taxation on the population.

The Labour government’s new initiative, however, may fall on some pretty dreary expressions, because each British citizen is taxed so heavily already, no one smiles anymore.

“British people are the most taxed people in the world. Each person in the UK has approximately 78 forms of tax heaped on them. That means on average the masses have to work for 8 months in a year before they start making money for themselves. Of course this is tantamount to slavery, but the British seem to have a knack for taking punishment without question,” Erica Lovell, analyst for the CBA Research Institute reported in a 500 page white paper.

Indeed if the government were clever they would put a tax on ‘frowning’ — something which the British people are very well versed in.

“Walk down any British street, get on a bus, go to a pub, drive a car, it’s pretty depressing seeing what Gordon Brown’s regime has done to everyone. They’ve got cameras everywhere tracking you, listening devices, no hope of any future for the young and people working themselves to death so that they can pay more taxes to the bureaucratic black hole that is Labour’s wasteful red tape nightmare. Gordon won’t get many smiles from people until he’s gone. That’s the only time people might smile again,” Damien Lugash, an ex-civil servant told us.