17.7 C
London
Friday, March 29, 2024
secret satire society
HomeSportsTiger Woods Finally Cured of Sex Addiction

Tiger Woods Finally Cured of Sex Addiction

FLORIDA - USA - The serial philanderer and boinking golfing ace, Tiger Woods has been finally cured of his so-called sex addictions, one of his spokesmen claimed last night.

buy squib book

The doctor in charge of the treatment for Woods said that he had been cured after many weeks of trying different therapies: “We tried the kick in the groin treatment where Tiger would be kicked repeatedly in the balls by a woman wearing some serious stilletos. This treatment actually had a detrimental effect, instead of deterring Tiger it actually turned him on. We then tried the nude photographs of British ex-prime minister, Margaret Thatcher, Maggie had some effect on him but it was minimal. We even brought up a vomit inducing picture of Barbara Bush naked causing some of the attendants to curl up on the floor in foetal positions yelling for clemency, but still, no show. What kind of a person would still find Barbara Bush remotely sexy?”

The doctor’s team finally hit upon an idea that is used in some prisons to treat sex offenders.

“We gave him a chemical castration. At first we thought we could do the two bricks smashed together trick but that might get too goddamn messy. Tiger’s cured now folks, we show him pictures of Playboy bunnies, parade some lovely ladies in front of him — not even a twitch I tell you. He’s even growing tits now and has a high pitched voice. We’re sending him home to Elin looking and sounding like a Thai ladyboy with a golf swing that can smash any tournament for six.”

Mr Woods was said to be very happy about the procedure and celebrated by buying a pair of new fishnet stockings to wear at the next PGA Golf tour.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -
daily squib FB Group
daily squib FB Group
daily squib FB Group
daily squib FB Group

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »