17.7 C
London
Friday, April 19, 2024
secret satire society
HomeSci/TechBREAKING: Stephen Hawking Abducted by Aliens

BREAKING: Stephen Hawking Abducted by Aliens

LONDON - England - Police fear the worst for astrophysicist Stephen Hawking after his disappearance last night from his home.

Eyewitnesses report seeing a bright white light and a saucer-like craft hovering over the East London property. Mr Hawking’s neighbours say they saw Mr Hawking being pulled up by a retractor beam into the belly of the craft which then started spinning before shooting off into space at supersonic speed.

The alien space
ship was witnessed by many residents and all descriptions have been
submitted to the Ministry of Defence for further investigation.


“By heck, I was just having me evening supper of crab cakes and chips when this god almighty flash happened outside our kitchen window. I told my wife Maureen to hop it and get out the camera because those bloody aliens were about again,” Reggie Carbunkle, 67, told the Times.

John Charles de Menacing, Chief coordinator of the department responsible for investigating unidentified flying objects, told the Telegraph: “From the witness statements we have acquired, we have reason to believe that Mr Hawking was taken up by an alien craft from another world. We think that the computer Mr Hawking uses to communicate with people somehow malfunctioned and contacted the aliens, thus leading to his abduction.”

The world of science was mourning the great loss of the acclaimed astrophysicist today and urged the aliens to bring Mr Hawking back to earth so that he could continue with his astounding scientific theorems.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

1 COMMENT

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »