While 1992 may go down in history as the Queen’s Annus Horribilis, 2017 has firmly cemented itself as the world’s Annus Skintus – that’s Latin for a poor year, we’re told. But don’t fear, our illustrious staff were educated at some of the best universities and financial institutions in the world.
Using our knowledge, we’ve put our collective minds together to extensively research simple ways to make money and turn your bank balance into something to smile about rather than something to avoid.
So, without further ado, here are our findings on this thorny subject. As always, consult a financial adviser to help you maximise your profits.
Sell vintage bricks
Thanks to a host of TV shows out there with middle-class Tarquin and his blushing bride Sophie Hamilton-Smythe renovating dilapidated old shacks in Cornwall, there has been a real surge in demand for architectural antiques and vintage finds. So how do you take advantage of this? Well, if like us you live in a 1920’s semi then you are literally surrounded by cash! Reach for the sledgehammer and knock out some of those pesky walls and replace with cheaper, newer bricks from your local hardware store.
You can then sell your vintage bricks online on an auction site or one of the many interior salvage yards around the UK to make a tidy profit. Be warned, though, don’t knock through walls that also belong to your neighbours or you may spend time away from work in A&E.
Ever wondered why gambling has been around so many years? Well, it’s all due to its popularity. And part of this popularity is because it’s just so simple to make money from it. In fact, an impressive 11% of repeat online gamblers ended up making a profit.
Staggering! If you can’t quite make it to Vegas, but you’re on the lookout for a great online game, we have to recommend the immensely fun Furious Four slot. With its free spin and
bonus features that add wilds and freezing reels into the mix. It’s a sure-fire way to make millions in minutes, allowing you to retire to the Bahamas for the rest of your days. You’ll be sipping Pina coladas in no time.
Ever wondered what it would be like to have super-sonic hearing or an ethereal radioactive glow? Then why not give clinical trials a try? These are proven to be the number one cause of superhero creation worldwide. Don’t believe us? Just ask Wolverine. Payments can vary depending on the type of trial you take part in, so less intensive trials will pay less and those that involve glowing pay more. Either way you’ll be rolling around in dough in no time; well, providing you survive, that is.
A word of warning
OK, so now you’ve got our top three tips for making cash quickly. We hope you’re looking forward to implementing these into your day to day life to make real, positive changes to your financial situation. But it is wise to offer a word of caution here. For every person that becomes wealthy, there is always at least one other sucker who gets greedy and blows their fortune without any thoughts for the future. It makes sense then to invest your hard-earned cash in something stable – perhaps penny shares or a Ponzi scheme for long-term security for years to come. Thus, leaving you with peace of mind and the comfort that you’re providing for your family long after you’re six-feet under.