Grim Reaper Dies Before Keith Richards

RIVER STYX - Limbo - The Grim Reaper, otherwise known as Death, has passed away before rocker Keith Richards, according to sources close to the entity in Hades.

“He was waiting for way too long for this Keith Richards fella to pass on but it just didn’t happen. It was only last week that Mr. Death caught a cold and it got worse. He just deteriorated, and sadly he passed away last night. He’s going to be sorely missed,” one of the angel of death’s friends, told Hell Weekly.

No one knows who is going to take over the role of the ten thousand year old entity, but there are suggestions that when Richards finally croaks, possibly in the next millennium or so, the legendary Rolling Stone himself could take over the role.

“Yeah sure, we need someone like Keith Richards. I’ve seen a picture of him and he looks like death already. I think he’ll fit into the position just right,” Satan told Rupert Murdoch’s Fox news network this morning.

  • Tom Gold

    What an moronic waste of electrons!! Keith Richard and his music are legacy's. Why write such dribble about a musician who has so much more to give the world? If you knew how many lives this man has effected via his music, perhaps you would realise that being critical and stupid about his age is truly nothing more than childish.

  • Richard Haberman

    Sorry to hear about the passing of Grim Reaper, however, his business agent in the USA, Dr. Death (Jack Kevorkian) passed away today also. Kevorkian is the MD who created and sold "Do-it-yourself" suicide kits, allegedly to ease the suffering of those with painful, terminal illnesses. So even though your article may be tongue-in-cheek (with emphasis on the British use of "cheek"), there is a touch of reality to your article.