Holding the book signing in a Picadilly Circus public lavatory, Mr Fry exited a cubicle to applause from his assembled female fans.
“Thank you, thank you. I’ve just had my arse felt by a 53-year-old van driver. George would be proud. Come now ladies, wouldn’t you all like to have casual encounters like us gay men?” Mr Fry smuggly quipped before sitting down in front of a urinal to sign some of the books that are now selling like hot turds nestled on the edge of a toilet seat.
Many women travelled across the country to finally meet Mr Fry and thank him for liberating them from the shackles of chastity.
“I’ve read his book and as a result I now go to Hampstead Heath every night and have sex with complete strangers. That’s why I now have AIDS and Gonorrhea. I came to have my book signed by Stephen today and thank him especially for inducting me into the ways of gay boys like him,” Elaine Pritchard, a librarian from Wood Green told the Daily Mail.
Stephen Fry’s new book, published by Armitage Shanks, is number one on the bestseller list and is an authority on what women want and think about.