LONDON – England – Members of Parliament were in an ecstatic mood today after it was announced that a pigs trough would be installed in the House of Commons.
Members of Parliament have hailed the unelected leader of the government, Gorgon Swine’s moves to install a pig’s trough in the middle of the House of Commons chamber so that MPs can conduct their business under more favourable conditions.
“This brings a new meaning to parliamentary question time. The swine will simply feed at the trough when they enter the pigs chamber. This will certainly rival the Lord Chancellor’s breakfast, as the dishonourable members all vie for the tastiest morsels which will be thrown into the trough from a slop bucket. This will be the Serjeant at Swine’s job and once he fills the trough, it’s basically a free for all. Those who don’t kick, lie, backstab, push and bite to get the best bits will be left behind — much like real life politics don’t you think?” a political commentator told the Daily Squib.
There have been further rumours circulated that the parliamentary swill session may be televised although negotiations are currently taking place with Rupert ‘Lizard’ Murdoch.
Some entrepreneurial MPs say that they would even back a public gallery opening directly above the MP swine feeding trough so that members of the public could watch the filthy proceedings from behind some reinforced plexi-glass.
“We could charge members of the public to watch us conducting business in the trough. Yes, we could charge them £10 per head to watch our snouts digging into the trough of inequity,” a Labour backbencher snorted.