Enos Johnsons, 45, recently started the new Shotgun Breakfast craze, which is now raging through the state of Kentucky. His wife served him up some cold eggs for breakfast so he thought he’d serve up some of her cold brains on the sideboard with his 12-bore.
Sheriff Elrod Cooter for Kentucky State Police said: “It’s a new craze going around called a Shotgun Breakfast. Last week we had one guy who’s wife burnt his toast in the morning. Well, he shot up the whole trailer park and killed 23. Just yesterday down in Cheyenne Creek, one man’s wife blew off her husband’s nutsack because he forget to buy some more booze that morning. Folks, looks like we gots us an epidemic here!”
Professor Jed Pitchfork of the University of Kentucky has several theories on the series of Shotgun Breakfast rampages which are sweeping the county: “Bad moonshine. I say we gots us some bad moonshine in the state and it’s affecting people. I’m currently conducting some more scientific experiments on the latest batch of moonshine doing the rounds, and I gots to say it some goo-o-o-d shieeeeet!”