17.7 C
London
Tuesday, November 12, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldWilly Walsh Introduces Sharia Law onto British Airways

Willy Walsh Introduces Sharia Law onto British Airways

LONDON - England - British Airways flight attendants were up in arms yesterday after it was revealed that the head of BA wants to introduce Sharia Law on every flight.

“Each flight will have a cleric (BA accountant) making sure that all British Airways rules are adhered to at all times by the staff. There will not be anymore long-haul orgies in 5 star hotels, wild parties and large payouts for pushing trollies along an aisle. We mean business now. We will have whippings and stonings, and we don’t mean the kinky kind either” Mr Walsh said.

The Unite union were furious at the news that BA want to introduce Sharia Law into their flight rosters.

“It’s bad enough that flight attendants only get £75,000 per annum to push a trolley down an aisle and shout ‘tea or coffee’, now the useless Walsh has decided that our union members should be under Sharia Law. All BA management are doing is cutting off their nose to spite their face.union boss, Derek Simpson spluttered, whilst attending a Labour party fund raising conference in Brighton.

Flights were said to resume yesterday after the new directives were implemented at the weekend. The bad news is that British Airways has banned all alcohol on flights, the good news is that flight attendants and passengers can still get stoned.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!