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Britons Take Early Retirement off Somali Pirate Coast

HARADHEERE - Somalia - Sun, sea and an AK-47 stuck firmly against your temple. British retirees are flocking to the shores of Somalia for early retirements in their luxury yachts.

They’re like moths being drawn inexplicably towards the flame; the irresistible urge for British retired holidaymakers to take their luxury yachts into the pirate infested waters off the coast of Somalia is positively captivating.

“As soon as I bought my luxury yacht I had to sail it to the pirate coast of Somalia and be captured by pirates. They shoot me, my wife, our dog and parakeet tomorrow, but boy has it been a trip of a lifetime,” Reginald Merrion, a retired businessman from Surrey, who relayed his final message to a French warship via morse code a few days ago.

Forget about Marbella, the Cote D’Azur or Monaco. Everyone knows the place to be is the Somali coast.

They have untouched beaches where you can be dragged by your hair before you are hidden in a shack for ransom. The cuisine on the Somali Pirate Coast is exquisite, you will be greeted with such delicacies as dog meat, fresh maggots and cold rice. One must not forget the hospitality as well, it will cost you literally an arm and a leg but your life savings will go a long way — until the middle of next week.

“We stayed in 4 star accommodation in the hull of a pirate ship before we had our life savings delivered to the pirates so we could be freed. I’d do it again tomorrow I tell you, the service was excellent and I think I even left them a tip after they shot my wife,” Joseph Hargreaves, 68, a retired airline pilot told the BBC after his release.

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1 COMMENT

  1. all I need is the yacht and ransome money or a few grenades to eliminate the pirates onsight whats happened to the bulldog spirit when dealing with tiresome natives

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