17.7 C
Sunday, June 23, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldID Cards Not Compulsory But You Will Be Jailed If Found Without...

ID Cards Not Compulsory But You Will Be Jailed If Found Without One

LONDON - England - Comrade Brown, today announced a new initiative to do with Identity papers held by all proles.

The new non-compulsory scheme will be unveiled by the unelected Soviet leader, Comrade Brown, next week where he will outline the offences that will be applied if anyone is caught without their papers and ID in all sectors.

“Your papers please”

“This non-compulsory scheme will make it a non-compulsory offence to not carry an ID card issued to you by the state. You do not have to have your ID with you at all times, but if you are caught without one you will be committing an offence,” the new Commissar for Stasi Security, Comrade Johnson announced.

Since the honourable discharge of Commissar Smith, there has been a concerted effort by the Labour hierarchy to present a more friendly image to the process of controlling proles.

In Other News

Retinal scans in sector 12b were halted yesterday due to a problem with the machine. Proles who work and live in the sector must be prepared to wait in long queues to enter the sector and must have their fingerprints and ID cards on their person or they will be arrested in a non-compulsory way and detained indefinitely.

We must remind proles that any thoughtcrimes or even thoughts of thoughtcrimes will be sniffed out and the offenders sent to re-education camps.

Congratulations to 8 year old, Beryl Honeywell (Sector 34), who reported her mother and father for thoughtcrimes against the state. They were also guilty of committing terroristic acts against the Soviet people by not purchasing the correct amount of carbon credits for the year. The two terrorists were detained yesterday and will spend the next 42 years breaking rocks in a gulag somewhere in sector 101.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"


  1. I wonder what ultra-leftist ‘Pseudo-Equalist’ Nuevo-Con liberals like Mr. Charrington will say should (God forbid) his grandly gated community… in which his super mega-mansion is located… maximally distent of course from any minorities (on the far side of a Country Club) be incinerated by the blast of an atomic bomb delivered in heathen driven fashion by an Anti-Christ ‘humanist’ who believes in and follows ‘teachings’ of the deviant and devious pseudo-belief system lingering since the dark ages named ‘islam’. Perhaps Mr. Charrington will have time, before the hated ID cards are mandated which will include one for him and all his way too many consumer-polluting prodgeny… to escape that very likely nuclear reality before it occurs and in so doing enable this ultra

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -





The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »