Entire Conservative Party Arrested

LONDON - England - The whole of the UK Conservative party was today arrested on charges of opposing the one party system.

Labour ministers were today in a celebratory and jubilant mood as anti-terrorist Stasi officers were mobilised to arrest the entire Conservative party.

Stasi Minister, Jacqui Smith was on hand to gloat over her part in securing the momentous and historic arrest which will ensure Labour has no opposition in parliament.

“We have cleansed parliament once and for all from the horror of democracy. We can’t have people going around and telling the truth! We are now the parliament, our one party system will last for a thousand years, the opposition were useless anyway, we will not miss them comrades.”

The anti-terror operation was conducted over three days and managed to capture every Tory apart from one — the London mayor who had absconded on his bicycle last night.

The Metropolitan police were searching all ports and airports on Tuesday to try and find Boris Johnson and arrest him.

Metropolitan Stasi official Peter Knacker told the BBC: “We have secured all ports and airports. If anyone sees a burly old chap ‘wot wotting’ along with a big mound of white hair on his head and jumping red lights on his bicycle call your nearest Stasi official immediately.”

Meanwhile, ‘Red Ken’ Livingstone has re-taken his Mayoral seat and had this to say about the whole sorry incident: “Comrades, thank you for ousting these vile capitalist pigs and lovers of democracy. I am so glad to be back as London Mayor and I’m sure you are all glad to see me back. I shall start first by extending the congestion zone to the whole of London and the M25.”

The entire Conservative party is being held in a gulag somewhere in Northern England and will be tried with the vile crime of opposing the Labour government and attempting to make the public aware of information that would make Labour look like a bunch of bumbling incompetent morons.

There will be no trial set for the incarceration of the Tory party and they will languish in their freezing prison for the next 42 years as decreed by Stasi Minister and part-time brothel madam, Jacqui Smith.

  • Factsnotcrap

    Is reality hitting home yet? Who we wonder are the co-conspirators in this whole mess before, and still remain stirring this bowl of crap? Who’s deluding the credibility of who’s-who in competence and ability to produce results? Does the evidence ever lie when usurpers grasp for integrity after the horse has bolted? Did somebody forget to tell them all that the Master /Slave era is over? What planet are they actually on? Tell me it’s all a bad joke please, that applying these old-style business models will work anymore. The definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result! Helllooooooo

  • Expose

    Yeah. Arrest those democrazies, one and all.
    The CONstitution in a democrazy means whatever they, the mindless majority mob and their stasi handlers, SAY it means!
    Moreover – you will go to mindless ‘fashion shows’ to dress like everyone else!
    In a democrazy (Essential to socialism –V.I. Lenin), the right leg and the left left leg march in the same direction – comrades – and don’t you ever forget it!

  • Anthony Blunt

    Effete Stasi liberals – I can’t believe they’ve wasted manpower arresting these c*nts when it would have been far simpler to simply shoot them in front of a lime-pit.

  • Roger Deacon, Lincolnshire

    I got caught screaming Jacqui’s name out last night while my wife and I were making love last night. I can’t get her out of my mind she’s so bloody sexy and powerful. Please somebody help me.

  • Drew

    phoah! i’d have a bit of that! I love saggies, they swing to the beat!!!

  • Leslie Evans

    It’s about time the stupid Tory scum were arrested. As a longtime Labour supporter I am disgusted at the manner in which the Tory toffs have been trying to smear our government. They deserve everything they get.