England Goalie Outdone by American Oil Slick

RUSTENBERG - South Africa - English goalkeeper, Rob Green, was outdone by a treacherous American oil strike on goal yesterday.

“What could he do? The slimy Americans soaked the ball in oil from the Gulf of Mexico then kicked it at Rob,” Fabio Capello, the England coach moaned at the end of the game.

According to World Cup officials, the Americans soaked the ball in prime crude oil as soon as they got onto the pitch.

“I saw the Americans get onto the pitch with a big bucket of seawater from the Gulf of Mexico. That shit’s hundred percent proof pure gasoline now. Well, then I saw one of the strikers, Clint Dempsey get the ball and stick it in the bucket,” an official standing on the sidelines claimed.

Butter fingers, Rob Green, was all slippery when the greased up ball went under him like a knife through butter.

“Let’s just say this is revenge for the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico which we are blaming on the limeys,” a US sports commentator, Dan Spitzer, said on the CBS network.