Tiger Woods Visits O.J. Simpson

LOVELOCK - USA - Fallen golf star, Tiger Woods, today visited another fallen sports star, O.J. Simpson in prison.

No one knows what was said between the two disgraced American stars but one thing is for sure, there must have been some brotherly advise handed down to the newly fallen Woods.

Simpson is currently serving a nine year sentence in a Nevada prison for theft.

“Tiger is new to disgrace, so we think O.J. must have just told him to shrug his shoulders and take the beating like a man. O.J. is certainly no stranger to pissing everything away and is a veteran failure. Who better to give Tiger advice on his newly found status?” Joe Syracuse, a sports commentator for the CBS news network said on Monday.

How many more women are going to come out of the woodwork to stake their claim on Woods’ woody?

“It’s like this. Tiger thought he was a player. Bitch got caught with his pants down. First rule of the game, if you’re going to f*ck around, do it with professionals, not with $8 waitresses. I mean if you’re at that level you have to really watch your game, not only on the course but in the bunker too. Plus, here’s the clincher, Tiger was playing the white game. No colour in his game? He forgot his roots right there. He needed to come home from the course and see some collard greens, rice and beans with some corn bread and some prime booty. Now that’s some good eatin’ right there hmm hmm. The boy wouldn’t stray far then huh? With those bony ass cold fish he was bound to get caught. O.J. knows about all of that and I’m sure he was telling it straight too,” one of Tiger’s golfing partners told the Daily Squib.