Gay Sharks Cruising World's Oceans

FLORIDA - USA - Marine biologists have been baffled at the major increase in numbers of gay sharks around the world's oceans, and scientific data suggests that gay sharks are just as dangerous as straight ones.

“We’ve seen gay sharks swimming, and even though they sway and shimmy around in the water, they still manage to eat their prey. They especially like to eat gay penguins,” Alonso Jacintes, marine biologist at Seaworld’s research institute in Florida disclosed in a new study on gay sharks.

Marine biologists attract the sharks to their boat’s vicinity by playing sonar versions of music from Erasure and Pet Shop Boys, where they can study their subjects better.

“We play the songs and they start coming in droves, some of the Great White’s actually have pinkish coloured fins and they flop around in the water to the music. It’s absolutely delightful to watch,” Anne Herchinger, one of the biologists working on the project revealed.

Florida’s famous Seaworld water park is vying to capture a few gay sharks for a water extravaganza that will entice tourists and Seaworld enthusiasts from all over the world.

A spokesman from the world famous sea resort said: “These will be real gay sharks and not dolphins. I have to say, dolphins are so last season. We’re getting the Shark Cabaret ready right now, as well as a gay shark parade and you should see the gay shark butt feeding frenzy. The sharks will also be dressed in specially designed flamboyant and butch clothing, very similar to Liberaci’s fabulous costumes and Chaz Bono’s style.”