17.7 C
London
Sunday, April 21, 2024
secret satire society
HomeSci/TechGay Sharks Cruising World's Oceans

Gay Sharks Cruising World's Oceans

FLORIDA - USA - Marine biologists have been baffled at the major increase in numbers of gay sharks around the world's oceans, and scientific data suggests that gay sharks are just as dangerous as straight ones.

“We’ve seen gay sharks swimming, and even though they sway and shimmy around in the water, they still manage to eat their prey. They especially like to eat gay penguins,” Alonso Jacintes, marine biologist at Seaworld’s research institute in Florida disclosed in a new study on gay sharks.

Marine biologists attract the sharks to their boat’s vicinity by playing sonar versions of music from Erasure and Pet Shop Boys, where they can study their subjects better.

“We play the songs and they start coming in droves, some of the Great White’s actually have pinkish coloured fins and they flop around in the water to the music. It’s absolutely delightful to watch,” Anne Herchinger, one of the biologists working on the project revealed.

Florida’s famous Seaworld water park is vying to capture a few gay sharks for a water extravaganza that will entice tourists and Seaworld enthusiasts from all over the world.

A spokesman from the world famous sea resort said: “These will be real gay sharks and not dolphins. I have to say, dolphins are so last season. We’re getting the Shark Cabaret ready right now, as well as a gay shark parade and you should see the gay shark butt feeding frenzy. The sharks will also be dressed in specially designed flamboyant and butch clothing, very similar to Liberaci’s fabulous costumes and Chaz Bono’s style.”

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

3 COMMENTS

  1. Will they have pre-op ladysharks? Those are the best for musical cabaret! Can't wait! Who cares about pandas? Give me the gay sharks anyday.

  2. Must be all the chemicals they put in the oceans these poor fish are turning all weird. Sick world we live in its disgusting.

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »