17.7 C
London
Wednesday, October 9, 2024
secret satire society
HomeSci/TechNASA to Finally Land Spaceship on Moon

NASA to Finally Land Spaceship on Moon

CAPE CANAVERAL - USA - Scientists at NASA's Research Center have finally come up with a way of landing a team of astronauts on the moon and bringing them back safely to earth.

The expedition to the moon can finally happen scientists at NASA announced yesterday.

“We have finally figured out how to get our astronauts past the Van Allen belts without frying them alive. To get past the radioactive belts, the spacecraft would have to be weighed down with 8 feet of thick lead walls to protect the astronauts from the extreme radiation. These layers of protection to shield the astronauts would hinder the spacecraft and weigh it down so much that we would not be able to get it into orbit. We have circumnavigated this problem by using a specialist light material that can shield against extreme levels of dangerous radiation and solar flares. Even if we changed the trajectory to pass though at the thinnest points of flux, the flight time would still be lethal. Nothing has survived passing through the radioactive belts until now, but this time we’ve cracked it by Jove,” Ed Hammerstein, chief scientist on the moon landing project told Fox News.

The team of four Americans and one Russian will embark on their dangerous mission to the moon next week weather permitting.

All space traffic with humans on board have always been within the safe area between the earth and the radioactive belt, and this moon expedition will make history by passing though the extremely dangerous plasma field. To get to the moon, the NASA astronauts have to pass through the dangerous radioactive belt and be exposed to the lethal doses for up to four hours of their journey. Thankfully, with the advent of new technological advances, NASA has come up with a lighter radiation shield and long-haul manned space expeditions are now perfectly achievable. NASA has been planning a manned mission to the moon for many years, some say even since the 1950’s.

The Eagle Will Finally Land

“We’ve finally got the computing power to complete a mission of this magnitude. It takes trillions of calculations per second to get the right angles of entry and trajectory as well as calculations for landing on the surface of the moon. The technology we have now is also advanced enough for there to be a moon landing in the hostile environment of the moon and bring a manned craft back to earth safely,” Mr Hammerstein added.

Indeed, if this moon mission is successful it will stand to make history for mankind and space travel. NASA plans to keep going back to the moon if the initial expedition is a success. Let us wish the brave astronauts good luck for they will need it. The moon has fascinated us since the dawn of time, will we really be able to go to the moon and come back? Is it really possible?

“We’re going to finally plant the flag on the moon. This is going to be one giant leap for mankind I tell you! Just think, on a clear night, anyone can get a telescope and see where we landed on the moon. The historic landing site will be viewable for generations to come.” Mr Hammerstein said.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!