Energy Firms Say Genocide Justified For Huge Profits

LONDON - England - Energy firms are unrepentant at huge price increases which will result in more deaths this winter.

“Our target is 100,000 deaths of the elderly and poor this winter. We may even increase prices by an additional 30% on top of the 15% increases of energy prices already in place now to kill even more people. Profit is profit, and besides, if you can’t pay, tough luck, you can freeze to f*cking death,” Samuel Letvine, a CEO for one of the top energy firms, who earns £460,000 per year, told the BBC today.

Coalition government officials said this was good news for the already straining NHS.

“The crumbling NHS is struggling already with the death pathway service. We appreciate Britain’s energy firms stepping up efforts to finish off the elderly and vulnerable at a quicker pace. This in turn frees up more resources to fund more important projects like foreign aid to countries that do not need it, EU payments, as well as ministerial pay increases,” a Westminster insider revealed.