Pakistan: "Anyone for Cricket?"

LAHORE - Pakistan - The Cricket World Cup got off to a cracking start yesterday with a volley of shots that had the crowd overawed with wonder.

Star batsmen Run Fouryorlife and Hel Pdonshoot, who both received
hospital treatment in Pakistan, were placed in an ambulance and taken to a
private medical facility in Karachi, after a series of googlies that caught them by surprise, a senior official said.

“The Pakistani team are crack shots and there was bloodshed on the pitch. It seems they have some serious marksmen on their team,” Omygahd E’sgottagun, another batsman squealed from his hospital bed.

Cricket commentator, Geoffrey Boycott was shocked at the precision of the Pakistani bowlers: “The precision of the shots was astounding, almost like one of my off break backhanders on my ex-wife. Smack and there she goes down. Almost harks back to the old body form drive, like a bullet it was as if the batsman cut it fine and the shot ricocheted off at high speed like an AK-47. The crack from the bat must have split the wood because of the blood everywhere from the batsman’s foot. I saw the boy recoil as if being hit by a bullet. Another lbw for Pakistan, but this time the chap didn’t have a leg left to stand on…more like a bloody stump eh. Still it’s all in a day’s game of cricket.”

The Pakistani cricket team now have such a reputation that the Kiwis and Aussies are staying well out of the World Cup.