17.7 C
London
Wednesday, July 24, 2024
secret satire society
HomeBusinessFed Cuts Rate to 'Minus 1.5'

Fed Cuts Rate to ‘Minus 1.5’

NEW YORK - USA - US interest rates were cut to a historic low of -1.5% as America resorted to drastic action in its battle to stave off a crippling recession and deflation.

Wall Street shares soared after the Federal Reserve, the powerful US central bank, stunned markets by cutting interest rates from an already 50-year low of 1 per cent to minus 1.5 per cent.

The unprecedented move to combat a slump that threatens to turn into a Thirties-style Depression far exceeded a more modest half-point rate cut predicted by experts.

“We’ve got people jumping out of windows all over the place. Minus 1.5% is the lowest we’ve ever had it. The Fed is just gonna have to print more money and somehow get us outta this mess,” Reuben Phuckah, an NYSE trader told Bloomberg.

Some experts are even suggesting the US interest rate should be cut to minus 2.5%, however this has been discounted by other experts who say that the Fed should wait for at least another week before reducing rates again.

It came alongside a raft of other ground-breaking steps as the Fed fought to kick-start the debt-ridden bankrupt American economy.

The aggressive measures have caused consternation amongst bank savers because with the interest rates at a minus number, their money is slowly being siphoned out of their accounts.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

2 COMMENTS

  1. Yeah but on the bonus side, having a minus interest rate means that my credit card balance will go down every month…dang that sounds pretty pretty good to me folks.

  2. When will the insanity end? My pension is tiny anyways and now they put the interest rate to minus? Jeez!!!!

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!