World

Miliband Claims Net Zero Turnips Will Provide Energy For UK

NORTHUMBERLAND - England - Net Zero lunatic "Mad" Ed Miliband is now talking about turnips providing energy for Britain.

Sometimes lunatics are given the wheel. “Mad” Ed Miliband is no exception. Apart from being a useless cunt, he is also a raving lunatic of the most dangerous kind that has been let loose on these hallowed isles.

You may wonder why energy prices are the highest in the world in the UK. Well, it’s that little thing called Net Zero, and as Miliband is a Marxist, he is using the cover of this nefarious energy policy to fuck people over, not only with the cost of living crisis but also with the so-called growth of the economy. Simple economics: it is impossible to have “economic growth” when it costs £23 just to put on the fucking kitchen light and £38 to boil the fucking kettle to make a stinking fucking cup of tea.

Speaking at the Fabian Society the other day, Mad Ed was…er…well…mad.

“Turnips. We are going to put turnips on poles and then point them somewhere in the sky, maybe 39 degrees north, 43 degrees south, or something like that. We have to have big turnips, and they need to be organic and not older than three days. You see this turnip (holds up turnip), it’s a Net Zero energy powerhouse, and look at this one with the maggot coming out of it; it’s okay too. I can get as much power out of 500,000 of these turnips as a 9-volt battery, and each turnip will cost £759,000, and it will make electricity really cheap…er…maybe in 40 years’ time from now.”

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Europe Continues Fuelling Russia’s War Machine in 2026

    BRUSSELS - Belgium - The European Union's hypocrisy regarding fuelling Russia's war machine is a…

    10 hours ago

    FUEL CRISIS: Russian Brutes Turn On Each Other

    ST PETERSBURG - Russia - The Russian brutes are all fighting each other at petrol…

    12 hours ago

    Crime Pays in the UK

    LONDON - England - Crime pays in the UK and is now the most secure…

    2 days ago

    Europe has defined digital sovereignty. Now it must execute it.

    BRUSSELS - Belgium - As digital sovereignty becomes a practical necessity across Europe, Gaia-X seeks…

    3 days ago

    The 2026 World Cup betting guide for UK fans

    LONDON - England - Where is the best place to place a bet on the…

    3 days ago

    What’s actually new in UK betting for 2026

    MANCHESTER - England - In 2026, we have seen some big changes in UK betting.…

    4 days ago

    This website uses cookies.