Harry and Meghan Plan to Build Gaudy Palace Next to Wills and Kate

Now that Harry and Meghan have confirmed their return to Britain, which we tentatively predicted in a previous article, things may get a little hairy with the two grifters. It’s no secret that William and Kate were enjoying their time in the UK without Meghan and Harry, but that’s all changed now. According to palace courtiers, this is a real turd dumped into the royal sandbox as the Sussexes plan to build some kind of grotesque nouveau riche mansion/palace overlooking Forest Lodge in Windsor Great Park, Berkshire, where William and Kate currently reside.

Sunny side up

Royal expert Rimbaud Bumberwicks has revealed some juicy insider reportage.

“It’s akin to getting a bluebottle fly in one’s soup at supper. Nothing prepared the monarchy for this utter outrage and nonsense. Reports have flooded in about William’s reaction. Apparently the top of his head went beetroot-coloured, and Kate accidentally dropped an egg on it, which started frying from the sheer heat. They were in the kitchen when the news came in.”

No More Frogmore

The Sussexes are adamant that they will build a Californian-style McMansion like they have in Montecito right next to William and Kate’s pile.

Architect and Netflix darling, Josh Brauer from California will be flown in to oversee the project which will be built “bigger and better” than the “dump” Wills and Kate are living in. There’s even talk of making an artificial hill overlooking the Cambridge’s property so that Meghan and Harry can look down it every day and squeal with triumphant delight.