Vladimir Putin: “Me and My Pet Frog”

Supreme President of the Russian Federation Vladimir Putin has spoken candidly about his pet frog.

“I call her Kroshka. Come here my sweet tiny Kroshka, how many have you killed today? (Putin kisses the frog delicately.) I am immune to her charming toxins and to polonium-210 as well.

“She is from Ecuador, from the jungles. We have them shipped here by the crate and even have our own breeding habitats. This one I chose myself as a pet.

“We had some delegates from Estonia here yesterday pleading for something or other. I cannot honestly remember from these assholes. During the dinner I brought out Kroshka from my pocket and told her to have some fun.

“She jumped on the tallest one, maybe 6’5”; he did not realise as she rubbed on his cheek until it was too late.

“He fell like a tree. Just like that. Beautiful. Спать без задних ног.

“Afterwards, little Kroshka came back to Daddy, and we continued the official dinner as if nothing had happened.”