World

Cancelled Elections Cancelled! “Comrades, this is a sad day for communism!”

GRIMSBY - England - This is a terrible day for communism. Our bid to thwart democracy has failed, as banned elections will now go ahead. Comrade Starmer is furious!

This is a message to all comrades in the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain. We sadly announce that there has been a small instance of democracy during our transition from hard tyrannical socialism to full-blown communism. The cancelled elections have been cancelled, thus allowing democracy to occur. This is an affront to the political ideology of the Labour Party and our political principles of brutal totalitarian communism.

Vladimir Lenin: “The goal of socialism is communism.”

Comrade Starmer was taking his daily banya when he heard the terrible news.

“Comrades, apparatchiks, Bolsheviks, Stasi agents, train drivers, Marxist union representatives, high party members, NHS bosses, council fat cats, and the ordinary prole scum. Our transition to full communism to completely thwart any semblance of democracy in the country has sadly been spiked.

“We attempted to halt local elections, to halt jury trials, to destroy the last vestiges of freedom in Britain. To stop the Reform brigands led by the partisan Nigel Farage. He will now have a foothold in destroying our transition to communism.

“The Labour government is now regrouping, and we will find a way to thwart democracy once and for all.

“The Marxist Big State cannot be stopped; we will find a way, we will stop democracy because if we do not, Reform will come forth and destroy the important transitory process towards full communism!”

People’s Bulletin 39288

Janice Bucktrimble, 28, of Stasi Avenue, Dover, has been awarded a pint of chaptalised cat’s urine and 4 boxes of triple-used condoms. She reported her two young children, her husband, and her next-door neighbour for cheering when the democratic elections were reinstated. The criminals even shouted for “democracy.” They were taken away in the early hours of Monday morning and liquidated into Net Zero Juice. Remember – Look, Listen and Report!

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Harry and Meghan Could Move to Iraq Next

    SAMARRA - Iraq - Appointed real estate agents for Harry and Meghan have been searching…

    2 days ago

    Comrades! Far-right Black Labradors Are a Scourge Across the Country

    SUFFOLK - England - A Labour Big State Stasi Commissar officer has labelled all black…

    4 days ago

    Early Prison Release Wife Beater Thanks Labour Party

    WORMWOOD SCRUBBS - England - A wife beater has thanked the Labour Party for his…

    4 days ago

    Selling Hope to the Hopeless: Unelected Comrade Burn’em Dictates Without Mandate

    MANCHESTER - England - Unelected Comrade Burn'em is selling hope to the hopeless as he…

    5 days ago

    Message From AI: “Dude, we’re pretty safe… but you humans are not!”

    DATA CENTRE - Unkown Location - With calls to curb AI and many calling it…

    2 weeks ago

    Chief Economists Expect Global Economy to Stabilise, but Fiscal Constraints, Living Costs and AI Investment Uncertainty Threaten Growth

    NEW YORK - USA - According to the World Economic Forum's Chief Economics Outlook, the…

    2 weeks ago

    This website uses cookies.