Labour Awards Work-From-Home Benefits to Grooming Gangs

It’s not just the Big State civil service and train drivers who get a good deal under Labour, grooming gangs who operate in many parts of the country will be allowed to work from home, and allowed a 4-day grooming rape week.

“Even Pakistani rapists need a few days off from grooming and gang raping young English girls. Because these people are core Labour voters in many Northern and Midlands counties, we are not only halting any enquiries into these gangs but enabling them to continue what they are doing without fear of prosecution,” Labour Safeguard minister, Jess Phillips, told a Birmingham reporter on Tuesday.

An unnamed groomer from Rotherham was appreciative of the new Labour grooming gangs initiative.

“Labour gets my vote again. Thank you. I just had a hard night raping and grooming outside the local school. Thanks to Labour, I can have times to rest and conduct grooming and rape operations from my home and kebab house business.”

PM Keir Starmer also gave the new grooming gang Labour scheme his thumbs up.

“Anyone who disagrees with my decisions is a far-right fascist! Next!”