SHOPLIFTING UPDATE: Everything is Free Now in the UK

If you’re hungry, or thirsty, or simply want a 64-inch TV, many people are now walking into UK shops and taking what they want without anyone so much as batting an eyelid. Shoplifting culture in Britain is at an all-time high, and it’s a free-for-all festival of theft.

“Security guards are not allowed to do anything, so they just stand there while you clean out each aisle systematically,” Leroy from Croydon, South London revealed. His council flat is a treasure trove of goods which he also sells online, and on the streets.

The Greggs bakery is obviously a favourite for shoplifters and forget about “buying” a meal deal for lunch, many of these people are going in these bakeries and coming out with bin bags of sausage rolls, donuts, sandwiches, drinks, croissants, pizzas, and even furniture.

“We had one guy who needed some sugar, so he went into Greggs and took their entire stock, even the boxes behind the counter. He just strolled out, and now he’s got enough sugar to last him ten years, innit,” another shoplifter revealed.

Thanks to an absent police force, and a sympathetic Labour government, it’s freebies for anyone who wants it.

Because of the current state of UK law, if anyone uses any form of force against a shoplifter, or an attacker in your own home or property, you are liable for prosecution and could be jailed for years, while the criminal is let off.

“The white people pay for their groceries. We just take it for free, and if anyone say anything, we call them racists. We’re owed this — they owe us — innit,” another prominent shoplifter revealed.

Shoplifting is now a lucrative business for many, and it’s pretty much risk-free. No one is prosecuted for theft in shops, and no one does anything about it.

Enjoy! These are great times in the UK.