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Hunter Biden Glad Colombian Rock Prices Did Not Rise

WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - Hunter Biden is sighing in relief as the Colombians did not raise the price of a very important commodity after Trump tariff threats.

Hunter Biden let off a huge sigh of relief today as he smoked another crack rock from his trusty pipe whilst driving his Porsche at 172 MPH down a residential street. Apparently the Colombians are not going to put the price of crack up after that Trump hooha.

Ordering up some more Russian ladies and weighing up a new shipment of rocks, it’s just another day for Hunter, there’s nothing to see here folks, everything is okay.

“They keep talking about ICE on the news. It scared the shit out of me. I thought they were talkin’ about crack, and then we got this Trump idiot messing with the Colombians, but then realised they’re talking about the immigration and customs enforcement dudes. I got some Russian broads comin’ over later, and my dealer with another load of crack. S’cuse me!”

It’s a good thing that Trump cannot mess with Hunter Biden any more, especially as his dad fixed it for him to be above the law and immune from any form of prosecution.

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