World

More Good News Comrades – Council Tax to Rise by 5 Times Legal Limit

SCUNTHORPE - England - Commissar Rayner is happy to announce a massive rise in council tax demands for all proles.

Commissar Angela Rayner, Officer for Housing, Communities and Local Government for the Big State, has given the green light for the delightful council tax rises for every household in the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain.

COUNCIL TAX = POLL TAX

“Good news for all citizens. Because of the large salaries, gold-plated pension plans and expense accounts of esteemed Big State civil servants working from home in councils for three days a week for your benefit, we will increase your poll tax by over 5 times the legal limit using a little loophole I have okayed called a Section 114 notice.

“You may think your council tax is already high, but when we increase it to £6,987 per annum, you will have to pay it, or we will send the bailiffs around or jail you filthy prole scum. You thought the Poll Tax was bad, wait until you get this council tax increase. You deserve everything you get, you foul-smelling cockroaches, and thank you for voting Labour! Snivelling fucking wankers!”

INGSOC NOTICE 344022-299188181818181818223-3223-223-2-32-2-1-19

AMANDA BLETCHNICK, 23, FROM ABERSWIMPY, WALES WAS AWARDED SIX BOXES OF USED TOILET PAPER AND A RISE OF 3.5 GRAMS OF CHOCOLATE RATIONS FOR REPORTING HER HUSBAND, MOTHER, LOCAL PRIEST, FOURTEEN NUNS, AND A 12-YEAR-OLD SCHOOLBOY FOR UTTERING SWEAR WORDS AT COMMISSAR ANGELA RAYNER AND CALLING HER A “GINGER GROWLER TOUTING FUCKING COMMON AS SHITE COMMIE BITCH” AFTER SHE ANNOUNCED HUGE COUNCIL TAX RISES FOR EVERYONE. THE CRIMINALS WERE TAKEN AWAY IN THE EARLY HOURS OF THE MORNING AND TRANSPORTED TO UNDISCLOSED GULAG LOCATIONS FOR THE REST OF THEIR MISERABLE LIVES. HAVE A NICE DAY. 

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    DEFENCELESS BRITAIN – The Practical British Prepper: A Three-Month Household Plan

    LONDON - England - Britain is defenceless and bankrupt. It is not too late if…

    1 day ago

    Why Labour is Destroying British Pubs

    LONDON - England - Labour is destroying British pubs. Across the British Isles, thousands of…

    3 days ago

    King Charles Agrees to Meghan Markle Statue at Buckingham Palace

    LONDON - England - King Charles III has agreed to a Meghan Markle statue to…

    6 days ago

    Dangerous Criminal Disappointed by Early Release Thanks to Labour

    WORMWOOD SCRUBS - England - A dangerous criminal is seriously disappointed with his early release…

    6 days ago

    Comrade Burn’em Residing at His Manchester Dacha For Holiday

    MANCHESTER - England - Comrade Burn'em has retired to his dacha up north after two…

    7 days ago

    Digital Science Launches Papers AI: an AI-Native Researcher Workspace for Writing, Data and Code

    LONDON - England - Digital Science launches Papers AI which gives researchers and students an…

    7 days ago

    This website uses cookies.