REVEALED: The Safest Place in Britain During a Nuclear War

Yadda yadda yadda! Russia has once again, for the third time this week, threatened to nuke Britain out of existence. It’s the usual rhetoric from old Vlad, but, er, does he have a point? Look at it this way: Britain is a tiny island, and nuclear detonations are pretty big depending on the megatons used for each missile. The 50-megaton Tsar Bomba could flatten the entire city of London, with effects stretching far beyond the M25 orbital motorway. More than 4.6 million people would die, and roughly 3 million more would be injured, with total devastation covering a radius of over 30–40 miles.

So where’s the safest place in Britain to live if the Russians decide to go nuclear?

If you look at the map of nuclear detonations below, we have marked a spot with a big X denoting where the safest place to live is in the UK during a nuclear assault on Britain. As you can see, it’s kind of bang in the middle of the sea. There is, of course, no guarantee you would survive for long even then because soon after the mass detonations, there would be shedloads of radioactive dust pushed up into the atmosphere which would fall back to earth. The ensuing nuclear winter, where the sun would be blocked out, would probably last for a minimum of ten years, as the ash and soot (black carbon) would go into the stratosphere, which would spread globally, and, because the stratosphere has no rain to wash it out, the smoke would linger for decades.

Additionally, Britain has no contingency to shelter civilians, unlike Scandinavian and Nordic countries, which have mass nuclear shelters for much of the population. The British government during a nuclear war would not care what happens to civilians, not even two shits. The UK government also has no missile shield or capabilities to intercept missiles before they hit their targets.

Basically, if you are in Britain and the sirens go off giving you 15 minutes to shelter, it does not matter where you go. You might have just enough time to bend over and kiss your arse goodbye before that great white light appears.