New Bayeux Tapestry Panel Discovered

Historians have marvelled at the discovery of a formerly never-before-seen panel from the Bayeux Tapestry which originally recorded the invasion of Britain by King William of Normandy, who fought King Harold for the throne of England in 1066.

“The new Bayeux Tapestry is an incredible foretelling of another occasion in history. The invasion of Britain by small boats and rubber dinghies from France carrying illegal immigrant men from third-world countries. Interestingly enough, the new panel even adds a French Navy ship escorting the illegal immigrants to the UK shore. It basically depicts an invasion of an army of illegal immigrants to British shores as much as the invasion by King William of Normandy in 1066,” historian at the British Museum, Professor Barnaby Barnacle, revealed to the BBC.

Every week an estimated 23,000 migrants cross the English Channel in small boats and rubber dinghies, making human traffickers millions of pounds for each crossing.

As part of this cultural diplomatic exchange, the UK is paying the French government £650 million so they can escort more illegal migrant men to the UK.

“It’s a great diplomatic gesture by the French, and as a result, there are many rapes and incidents of paedophilia, as the many men who come across in the boats get stuck into things,” a proud labour Party spokesman commented.

The next tickets, covering visits between January and March 2027, will be available from the British Museum from 21 October.