Milkshake Tax Will Create Black Market in Milkshakes and Shake Smuggling

The ridiculous and lunatic policies of Labour are indeed beyond satire, but the proposed milkshake tax may provide something to play with.

Imagine buying a milkshake for £46 due to the milkshake tax, well no sane person will do that. Instead, here, look around the corner in that alleyway. Some enterprising geezer is selling milkshakes for £2.30. People dodge into the alley and come out with a delicious chocolate, strawberry, vanilla or whatever milkshake, and finally they’re happy again.

You’re at Heathrow Airport and some dude has just flown in from Los Angeles. Immediately he is swarmed by ten customs officials who start tearing through his luggage like rabid wolves. They find a secret compartment with five carefully packed salted-caramel, vanilla, Oreo milkshakes worth a lot of money. Immediately, the shakester is led into a room by the side and handcuffed. No doubt those shakes will be consumed with gusto by the customs officers later in the day.

Coastguards off the coast of Plymouth come across a yacht from France. The two inhabitants start acting funny, and one of them has a load of straws in his hand. There is an immediate shout from one of the coastguards, “milkshake!”. Immediately, a full search is underway and soon uncovers a huge haul of milkshakes with a street value over £345,000. Needless to say, these guys are going down for a long time, after a serious shake down.

The lunatics have truly taken over the asylum. Milkshake tax? Who’s up for a Knickerbocker Glory instead?