World

Surge In Rubber Dinghies Prompts France To Ban All Balloons Over 2 Inches

CALAIS - France - The surge in rubber dinghies crossing the Channel have caused the French to ban all balloons over 2-inches in length.

You can’t say the French aren’t doing anything about the rubber dinghies full of fake asylum seekers crossing the Channel. The French have now come up with a genius plan to stop the small boats by banning the sale of all balloons that are over the 2-inch limit.

“We were paid £850 million by the Rosbifs to stop the boats. Well, we took the money and did nothing — ah, that is until now mes amis. We are going to ban the balloons which are larger than 2-inches in size. This should stop the boats, don’t you think?” French minister for Channel crossings, Pierre Balon told the BBC.

Well, that solves it, then. If you go to France, you cannot buy big balloons any more, but you can still purchase a massive fucking rubber dinghy to stuff loads of economic migrants into.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Good! It’s Back On!

    LONDON - England - The war is back on, as Israel pushes forward in its…

    1 day ago

    Commissar Reeves: “Thanks to my policies we now have 3 trillion debt and the IMF has to bail us out!”

    MANCHESTER - Commissar Reeves celebrates the ruination of the country through punitive high taxes and…

    2 days ago

    Geoeconomic Fragmentation Expands Beyond Traditional Rivalries as Economic Costs Escalate

    NEW YORK - USA - Geoeconomic fragmentation is costing the world economy between $213 billion…

    5 days ago

    Another Grotesque Tragedy in Labour’s Stab Britain

    SOUTHAMPTON - England - There is only silence from Labour politicians as another tragic knifing…

    7 days ago

    What Happens if the French Lose a Football Championship?

    PARIS - France - The French win a football championship and riot. If they lose,…

    1 week ago

    Gaia-X Advances Practical Interoperability at Tech-X Athens

    ATHENS - Greece - Gaia-X has successfully concluded Tech-X & Hackathon #9, which took place…

    1 week ago

    This website uses cookies.