World

Donald Slump Made My Retirement Fund Disappear Says Man

WISCONSIN - USA - A man has praised Donald Slump for making his 401k retirement fund disappear into a tariff black hole.

A Wisconsin man has revealed the remarkable news that Donald Slump made his entire 401 retirement fund go bye bye.

Trump Slump Retirement Plan

“One minute it was there, and the next minute vamoose!”

The former aeronautical engineer is not sure if he will ever get his money back but says he’s kind of glad he’s now working in McDonald’s at 80-years-old.

“It gets me outta the house, away from the dragon. I’m now flippin’ burgers with the young people. Thank you, Donald Slump. That tariff thing you pulled outta your hat really helped me when I lost my entire retirement money.”

Looks like if you’ve seen your entire retirement fund disappear, there’s hope yet, huh …

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    LAMMY: Mandem to be Released Early

    LONDON - England - Labour Justice Secretary David Lammy is to release up to 6,000…

    21 hours ago

    15th Five-Year Plan: What China’s Development Means to the World

    DALIAN - China - The World Economic Forum meeting is upbeat about China’s 15th Five-Year…

    1 day ago

    When Mother Earth Speaks Humans Still Do Not Listen

    CARACAS - Venezuela - A 7.5 magnitude earthquake is a small reminder that humans are…

    2 days ago

    Unelected Comrade Burnham Ushering New Era of Communism

    MANCHESTER - England - Unelected Comrade Burnham has destroyed the last vestiges of democracy as…

    4 days ago

    People’s Republic of Soviet Britain Urgent Bulletin Regarding Comrade Starmer

    MANCHESTER - England - Good news comrades. Comrade Starmer has been apprehended and made into…

    5 days ago

    “Comrades, they are coming for me on Monday! This is it!”

    UNDISCLOSED LOCATION - Comrade Starmer has revealed in a communique that a dastardly coup is…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.