World

Russian Roulette: Trump Threatens to Call Putin Silly Names if No Ukraine Ceasefire

WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - President Trump has threatened Vladimir Putin with a volley of silly insults if he does not agree to a Ukraine ceasefire.

“I’m gonna call Putin a doo doo face, or maybe something like poop noggin!” Trump told reporters in the Oval Office. The president wants Russian president Putin to agree to a ceasefire with Ukraine, but it seems the Russians are dragging their feet.

Practising in front of a mirror, The Donald pointed and said, “Mangy pinko Russkie! Yeah, I’m talkin’ to you. No one else in this room! Wanna play with the US of A? Dumbass vodka swilling borscht eating Russian dumbo!”

One of the reporters asked the president if this sort of thing would put Putin in line.

“Eh, I’m walkin’ and talkin’ here! I’m a New Yorker! We don’t take shit from no one, and that includes my pal Putin!”

Looks like Vlad the Butcher better get his warmongering ways in order pronto and agree to a Ukraine ceasefire because it is clear to see here that Trump means business. FAFO.

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