Woman Caught Covid From Farting Man

A Pimlico woman, 43, caught Covid on Tuesday when a man farted in her presence whilst shopping in her Sainsburys local store.

“I had just picked up an aubergine when I heard the ripper fart. At first I thought someone had dropped a shopping basket on the floor when I smelled the fart smell. I did not have a mask on at the time, and my mouth was open, so the fart went in there as well. I rushed home in shock, two days later I tested positive for Covid.”

Dr. Ranjit Gupta, a Covid-19 expert, explains how the fart may have infected the woman.

“When a fart is expelled from the anus, methane gas mixed with other gut particles and miniscule droplets of water and faeces dissipate over a large area. Farting with gusto, or maybe just a little squeaker can affect the amount of material expelled from the anus. If in an enclosed space, a fart can be more pervasive and hang around the atmosphere for longer. I had a vindaloo last night and I think I may fart right now, excuse me *parp*!”

Farting is like coughing, but from the other end, so beware of those farts.