Sports

Rockett Launches Mullins Family into Grand National Orbit

AINTREE - England - This year's Grand National was a spectacular race, propelling the Mullins family into geosynchronous orbit with a Nick Rockett win.

At Aintree, in what might be the most emotional family day out since your cousin’s third wedding, Nick Rockett blasted home to win the 2025 Randox Grand National—giving trainer Willie Mullins not just a one-two finish, but a one-two-three. As if dominating the biggest steeplechase on earth wasn’t enough, he did it with his son in the saddle. Classic overachiever behaviour.

Ridden by the only amateur in the race, 35-year-old Patrick Mullins—who just happens to be the most successful amateur jockey in Irish history—the 33-1 shot beat last year’s winner I Am Maximus and stable mate Grangeclare West. If it were a school project, Mullins would be accused of doing everyone else’s homework.

Willie Mullins, normally cooler than a cucumber in a cryogenic chamber, was visibly choked up. “This is the summit,” he said, after watching his son steer their horse to glory. “I never thought I’d have that feeling.” Under his trilby, the tears flowed—making him, for once, the only one wetter than the Aintree turf.

The real tear-jerker? The winning horse was owned by Yorkshire businessman Stewart Andrew and his late wife Sadie, who had insisted on having a horse with Mullins before her passing in 2022. Nick Rockett was her dream horse, and with a nod to the heavens, he delivered a result that had fate written all over it.

Patrick, meanwhile, looked like a man who had just won the world’s biggest lottery with a £1 Lucky Dip. “He was jumping brilliant, but I was taking him back everywhere,” he admitted, with the kind of cool understatement that suggests he might casually pilot the next Mars mission in his spare time.

Behind them, 16 brave finishers crossed the line. A few fallers, a few pulled up, but thankfully no major injuries. Broadway Boy and his jockey Tom Bellamy were treated after a fall, while Nick Rockett, the hero of the hour, eventually took a victory lap—no doubt wondering why the humans were so emotional about what was, to him, just a nice long gallop with some jumps in the way.

All in all, it was a historic day: one amateur, three top horses, and a trainer so dominant that you’d be forgiven for checking whether the other stables had accidentally entered a different race.

One thing’s for sure: Willie Mullins now owns the Grand National, and he didn’t even have to buy it.

Do you value freedom?

SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice, satire and coffee. DUE TO THE NATURE OF OUR JUVENALIAN SATIRE WE CAN ONLY SURVIVE BY DONATIONS. PLEASE CONSIDER DONATING. THANK YOU.
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by
Tags: horse racing

Recent Posts

Comrade Starmer is No Friend of Meddling Capitalist Enemy the USA

GRIMSDALE - England - Comrade Starmer speaks about the enemy of the People's Republic of…

20 hours ago

Trump Issues “Ultimate Bro-Mance Pardon” to Putin, Claims Ukraine Invasion Was Just “Borrowing Crimea for a Home Renovation”

MAR-A-LAGO - USA - President Donald Trump has issued a pardon to Vladimir Putin in…

1 day ago

New Analysis Predicts the Green Economy Will Exceed $7 Trillion Annually by 2030

GENEVA - Switzerland - A newly released report by the World Economic Forum reveals that…

2 days ago

“An OBR official who revealed the lies told by Reeves and Starmer has been liquidated”

LONDON - England - The head of the OBR has been liquidated and processed into…

3 days ago

A Day in the Life of a Woman in Labour’s Benefits Britain

ESSEX - England - Thanks to Labour's budget, taxpayers will foot the bill for more…

4 days ago

GameZone Casino Popularity Grows Across Online Communities

MANILA - Philippines - GameZone Casino is growing in popularity across many online communities as…

4 days ago

This website uses cookies.